Category: Current Issue Writing

Addy Masterson ‘28

I sat down at that table and heard the words I now dread

“We have something to tell you.”

She’s fine, they said it will be okay

They said

But how will it be okay when I have to watch the person I love the most hurt that much

I will watch as her hair falls to the ground I will watch how she says she’s okay

But how will it be okay when I have to question every day is this is the last day I will see her or just another school day

How is Mom?

Is the new question I ask every time I need to fill the air

She’s tired

She’s tired

She’s tired Well I’m tired

I’m tired of living a life constantly questioning

Questioning if she’s really as strong as they say she is

But here we are almost to the finish line and she’s the strongest person I know

My whole life is now tied up with a shining crossed pink ribbon

The first half of my life was tied with a ribbon

Sending hearts in the mail to my uncle

And now it’s in my mailbox

The ribbon danced across my family tree

But I’m almost free

Free of the pain and worry

Free of the “It will be okay”

Free from the meals that show up every Tuesday and Thursday at six

But I will never be free

Free from the constant reminder that she had to go through that

How will I ever be free

When the ribbon is constantly shining and staring right in my face

Libby Jenness ‘25

As my breath leaves my body, I find myself stuck: 

Stuck in the past, the future, and everything in between. 

I push off the bag and start taking quick steps forward, letting my body take over. 

I become tired, my throat starts closing, and black dots dance in my vision.

I feel like crying;

I feel like giving up;

I feel alone. 

Left to my thoughts, I begin thinking, 

Thinking about the stars, 

Thinking about how they reminded me of a time where I was able to sleep on the grass of my cousins’ backyard, not caring about the bugs or the fact that I might never see them again until Grandma died. 

As I round, I remember the pain of losing, 

Losing family, 

Losing my friends, 

Losing myself to the world around me and how hard it’s been trying to build myself back up. 

The elephant sitting on my chest grows heavier as I remember my life will soon be in my own hands,  

But I still have to perform. 

The expectation of being the role model I never had, while being a therapist, a captain, an advocate, a writer, and many more weighs heavy on my tired body as I run the final stretch home. 

I become desperate to hit the plate as the world around seemingly starts moving in slow motion. 

In my final seconds I look ahead, breaking free of the trance my body was put into and ending the spiral that was happening mentally;

I become aware of my surroundings and steel myself in front of my team; 

No one will ever see me weak.