Libby Jenness ‘25
As my breath leaves my body, I find myself stuck:
Stuck in the past, the future, and everything in between.
I push off the bag and start taking quick steps forward, letting my body take over.
I become tired, my throat starts closing, and black dots dance in my vision.
I feel like crying;
I feel like giving up;
I feel alone.
Left to my thoughts, I begin thinking,
Thinking about the stars,
Thinking about how they reminded me of a time where I was able to sleep on the grass of my cousins’ backyard, not caring about the bugs or the fact that I might never see them again until Grandma died.
As I round, I remember the pain of losing,
Losing family,
Losing my friends,
Losing myself to the world around me and how hard it’s been trying to build myself back up.
The elephant sitting on my chest grows heavier as I remember my life will soon be in my own hands,
But I still have to perform.
The expectation of being the role model I never had, while being a therapist, a captain, an advocate, a writer, and many more weighs heavy on my tired body as I run the final stretch home.
I become desperate to hit the plate as the world around seemingly starts moving in slow motion.
In my final seconds I look ahead, breaking free of the trance my body was put into and ending the spiral that was happening mentally;
I become aware of my surroundings and steel myself in front of my team;
No one will ever see me weak.