A Letter to Myself

Fiona Bianchi ‘25

           I love winter; I love whatever season I am living in. I love the wind, the cold, the rain, ice, snow, and darkness; I love the quiet. I love the dark because it makes me enjoy what little light there is all the more; I love the quiet; it makes me excited for spring when the birds sing again. The cold allows me to bundle up and I can enjoy nice warm drinks in the coziest of places better than if it were summer or any other season.

           You say you hate the winter, hate the cold, the dark, the rain, and quiet. Sometimes I wonder if only you say that to be agreeable with the people you are around. I see you find yourself longing for the next season for all the things you can do in it and never enjoying the one you’re in. You say you hate how you can never warm up, never dry off, never get cozy. You say you miss hearing the birds, looking for them wherever we go.

           I love Christmas because of the gifts and jokes my household family gives to each other, and the empty time I can fill with them over the break.

           You say you hate Christmas because your larger family never gets along long enough to be together for an evening. You hate all the extra time because you are afraid to waste it on things you fear you won’t enjoy. You don’t know what to do with yourself.

           I love the snow, and you love the snow, yet you still say you hate winter. You are sad for the birds and say you miss them, but once they come back in spring you get annoyed when they wake you up with their shrieks, melodies, and greetings.

           I hate school and its rigid schedules, conflicts, and petty disturbances, but you, you love school; you love its schedule and assignments that give you things to do, keep you on a routine, and keep you talking to the same people; you like the repetition. I hate it; I hate it in all its lumbering hindrance, but I love you.